obama could have borrowed sotomayor's dick when he threw out that that first pitch like a girl last night
So my earrings and necklace kept jingling and hitting him in the face, and he told me felt like he was fucking a Christmas tree
george bush was a better president for first pitches than barack obama. there. i said it.
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
I'm using process of elimination to determine which of our neighbors i fucked last night.
As I was driving her home she congratulated each and every deer we saw for making it through the first day of dear season.
We're doing kegstands for my 80th Bday, so don't lose that muscle tone.
I just text my one night stand Happy Easter on her way home...now would be a good time for the lord to smite me.
AND HOLY SHIT FLUBBER IS ON NETFLIX
would you like to venture to the magical clitoris forest?
I don't want to get pregnant doggy style. That's sad.
My name will be tattooed on his ass by sunday.
The next time we go out, we're bringing a jar so that people can contribute to the rest of what I need to come up with for my breast implants... We'll show them yours for inspiration and persuasion.
what do you mean i can't make cookies with a blow dryer? challenge accepted.
We can use the Mac n cheese as the potatoes in our breakfast burritos. Problem solved.
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