I've come to the conclusion that if I was an old man, I would perve around in short gym shorts for kicks.
you guys were way drunker than both of me
If Rob Pattinson gets another fucking MTV award, I'm going to vomit.
but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
Also, our mothers are placing bets on which of us will get pregnant first.
Just saw a woman in a hospital gown with a Steelers jersey on top smoking a cigarette while hooked up to an IV outside of the hospital. I love Pittsburgh.
I told him the truth. Truth leads to vodka. Vodka leads to tequila. Tequila leads to prison.
So after this weekend I think I'm gonna go down on one knee and propose to my boyfriend that he give me his liver.
I was woken up at 4am by a stranger shaking my foot who said I looked like I needed a cigarette.
When I told him he could take naked pics of me, did I really need to specify that he could not email them to my brother's friends for bragging rights?
when the repo soundtrack came on in the middle of us having sex i realized it was about time that i clear out my itunes library
Just wiped the ashes off my forehead before he came over to have sex. Definitely going to hell.
sometimes you just gotta rip off the nipple tape and get it done.
I watched my wife kick balloons while wearing thigh highs. It's not a sentence you get to use too often
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