she lunged for my junk like it was the cure for swine flu
I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
he stopped making out with me and said "can I make you grilled cheese? I feel like I owe YOU something"
Either allow it in a formal toast or i will drunkenly tell your in-laws while i'm dancing on their table. either way, the truth is coming out
as it turns out, there is no "i was in the pool" excuse for adderall-induced shrinkage.
chugging beers on the train. people are staring. I would be offended if it wasn't 8:30
I never thought that it would get to the point where I would have to specify that by "hang out" I meant "fuck like rabbits." Growing up shouldn't be this way.
She almost killed me. The shot she handed me had tacks in it. Wtf?!
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
I got picked up after "I just threw up in my face". Then I had very specific instructions involving the bathtub.
Mom and I are both drunk and walking around the Strip. It's like the hangover but with a lot more bathroom breaks.
I feel like one thing if I have going for me is that my bed looks like a nice place to have sex
Yes I peed all over myself and lost both my credit cards, who wants to know?
So I have three weeks to get rid of his girlfriend and fuck him senseless before he goes to jail
omg last night while walking home from your house I stole a seatless bike and carried it into my next door neighbors kitchen.. we just looked It up online it's an antique and worth $500 dollars
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