batman tramp stamp. Dibs.
I told him that he could only go home with me if he didn't talk or tell me his name
consequently i now know what mace tastes like
When I realized it was a dog, and I still had a boner, it was awkward.
you tried turning the bar into a spelling b competition last night and every time someone couldn't spell something you would make them chug.
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
There is a pile of hair outside the apartment next door. At least now I know what all that shouting was about last night.
five cans of playdoh and a game of guess whose penis ...
I told her I wanted to use him as a chew toy while simultaneously licking his face.
Did she tell him? And if so, was he cool with it? If yes, date him, date the fuck outta him.
I just singed the hair in my nose trying to re-light a joint. now all i can smell is burnt hair. day ruiner
So I just stirred my shower drink with my razor.
I'm not going to ask which end you used.
it went well until I said "me" instead of "my" and he kept sexting me in character as a pirate
Has anyone ever blacked out at an art show your dad brought you to?
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
I STUDIED GEOGRAPHY I KNOW THIS SHIT!! DON'T YOU DARE QUESTION MY AUTHORITY ON GLACIAL DEPOSITION AGAIN BITCH!!
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