He disabled his match.com account in front of me
ps... at the end of one of the videos you yell "let's do the eiffel tower again.. i'll be in the middle!" .. i almost died lolol
Oprah is sooooo fat. I can't even concentrate on Mackenzie Phillips talking about banging her dad
you spent 5 minutes trying to open an empty PBR and kept saying "don't worry i'll get it i've been working out"
Seeing a catheter being inserted into a penis severely diminished my sex life
I slept with him to see his dog one last time
New plan for Halloween: you dress as Waldo, I'll dress as Carmen San Diego. We can just hide in a closet drinking till someone finds us.
MEET ME OUTSIDE YOUR HOUSE IN THREE MINUTES. BE DRUNK. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
Seriously, even though I keep it clean, I could douse it in bleach and set it on fire and still not be comfortable with you actually holding it. It's been in my VAGINA.
Had a crazy moment last night. Had to get up, run to bathroom, pop 3 Xanax, sit on bathroom floor and rock myself in fetal position. Not my best moment.
of course we called 911. an innocent mans booze was at steak
Sloppy and selfish. Your 27 and you don't know where my clit is? BYEEE
It's gotten to the point that I'm pretty sure I'm going to need to be legally drunk before I enter the voting booth this year.
Dude. Don't do acid and go to Disney on ice. Hear my warnings. That snow monster will fuck your shit up.
Randomize
