There is a stranger person in my roommates bed...
Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
I just heard a teenager say to his friend "dats my baby! i was hittin her up on myspace like gurllll. she got me steamin". must have missed the memo its 2005 and we still use myspace.
I served up a girl her first a2m the other day. You would have been proud.
Let's turn this shoulder dislocation into a positive. Come to the hospital, bring some beers, let's party.
He was banging holes in the kitchen wall with pots. They tried to pull him away but only managed to pants him. He kept "drumming".
she left with her roommate. or at least i think she did. but i also just thought i ate candy corn but i'm hal convinced it was candle wax.
Come down. Bring Jorts. We're getting ready for this tricycle race like champions.
am i new drunk or am i still drunk
How do you get the "hangs out with drunk assholes" insurance
Ahaah! I just stole batteries from work for my vibrator. I am that person.
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
I can handle him. I'm made of spite and hot wings.
i know were having a "heart to heart" right now, but does it make you feel uncomfortable that im sexting someone right now?
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
Randomize
