Sex on bubble wrap = best decision ever.
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
she complimented my bra when we were hooking up. this lesbian thing has its upsides
he's washing the lighter in the sink and telling me to picture unicorns. requesting backup.
Then he said something about how from that angle I looked just like his mom.
We ended up getting arrested after we flagged down the cops for a ride home with open beers in our hands... turns out the "nobody told me" excuse doesn't cut it anymore
I stumbled in at 6am to find my cat in the window making a noise I've never heard her make. When I went to the window there was a goat outside staring at us.
Are you sure? Or did you just think there was a goat?
No there was a goat. I gave it a donut.
My period started right as he was entering, which really helped me sell the "I've never done this before" bit.
I learned so much about myself in that shower.
he taught all the little kids to ski. it was stupid hot. i'm pretty sure my ovaries exploded.
They way I see it is I've wasted 7 years of having these glorious tits. I only have about 3 good years left before idk kids or just gravity takes over and they don't look this nice so it's basically open season.
I didn't want to leave, I wanted to move into his ass
Hypothetically speaking, at what point does fire become too much fire?
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
My house exploded and with it all my pot went up in smoke.
Randomize
