I could tell by the way he was holding my hand that he really liked you
I keep waking up with the nagging feeling I gave him half a hand job through his shorts.
my favorite part of the night was when I was in the bathroom frantically trying to get my cat whiskers and nose off to make hooking up less awkward
My cab driver just texted me 'goodnight beautiful'. I think my 'desperate for a guy phase' has just moved into a fuck my life phase.
I asked him if his doormat had a name, then proceeded to sit on it for the next 30 minutes while signing that magic carpet ride song from aladdin.
WHY ARE YOU POKING HOLES IN MY 3AM LOGIC?!
If the world would stop letting me feel invincible I would probably stop doing this shit.
My father is flirting with a transexual server at hamburger mary's. We can never tell him.
Now I'm ashamed that I wore a bra
When you are 21 it's acceptable to run out of the tavern and puke all over the bike rack... when you are 35 it's called alcoholism.
Walked in on my roommate covering his dick in blue frosting. Am staying with my folks for the Forth. See you Monday if the brain bleach works.
We banged in my car doggy style with my head out the window. The sky was marvelous and I saw a shooting star. Its destiny; we're meant to fuck forever.
so i find a box of condoms inside my car with turn by turn directions to her bedroom... kinda freaked out cause she got my address and somehow inside my car
My last Google search was 'can an impotent man have sex'. I don't even want to know what I did with that guy.
OMG OMG OMG!!!! I made his penis bleed!! I repeat I MADE HIS PENIS BLEED!!!!
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