I just saw my grandmother naked. again. this needs to stop now.
Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
hot ketchup is not a substitute for marinara
So the coke mirror was perfectly angeled at my face right when i woke up this morning. I now know how I'd look on intervention.
You are the worst kind of disappointment. The responsible kind.
Saw a guy in a chef outfit covered in mustard talking jiberish into his phone running across the skywalk.
The goblet must only be used for good. And vodka. And anything t-pain would be proud of.
theres 5 guys on the side of the road with beads and their shirts off screaming at cars already.
We dared each other to drink Arbor Mist, and I waterboarded someone with tequila.
BUT I think maybe Thursday in celebration of America we should probably tan and see how fast we can finish everything in the liquor cabinet.
I fucked him on my yoga mat. Then we wake and baked and ate granola. So yes, you could say I found my center.
It's not safe here. I had urgent and violent diarrhea last night, and I got blackout drunk. Please don't come over.
Don't be hating on my everclear. Never taken a smoother journey into intoxication.
you came home and ate 12 bananas. you really didnt think mom would know you were high?
If the amount of time the owner spent looking at my tits is any indication, I’d say I can probably sleep my way to the top
Randomize
