R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
I look like a sausage in jean shorts, you should have woken up earlier and approved my outfit.
I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
If your pregnant with his baby maybe we can start getting weed for free.
Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
my bedside table was not meant to hold this many beer bottles.
Turns out shot glasses hold the perfect serving of sour patch kids....I still fail to see how not having any real glasses is an issue
I had to have my mom pick me up from the party and the windows lock was on so when I went to projectile vomit out the window it wouldn't roll down and it splashed back at my face.
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
MASS TEXT: Lets start a new tradition. Black Friday log pic contest. I'm waiting.
Got laid in my rudolph onesie for the second year in a row. New tradition? Absolutely.
I can't believe you picked a finger in the ass over lunch with me.
2014 decided to stick it to me one last time. Right up the ass.
He was so high he started playing Twister on the striped rug. Then when we missed midnight he went on a screaming rampage about his New Year's Eve being meaningless. How do you think it went?
Soo are you just gonna poop in my bathtub and not talk to me anymore...?
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