yeah. then i thought it would be a good idea to show them how hairy my armpits were, so they'd be distracted from the bush in my pants. EPIC FAIL.
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
You should know I just got pulled aside by TSA because they found a bottle of Bud Light in my backpack... Thanks for that...
I literally recorded a toilet flushing to make it his ringtone to remind me what a piece of shit he is
If you can get her to make out with you without paying for it, I will personally make you president of the american lesbian league
You know you're fucked up when you decide to pour fireball whiskey in your vegetable beef soup
I took a yellow and pink pill, all of a sudden my sex drive is back, and for some reason all I wanna do is fuck Amish dudes
Good God, I miss doing unknown drugs with you.
My car has a permanent smell of sex to it now.
THIS MOTHERFUCKING ROOSTER
IT KEEPS CHASING ME BACK IN THE HOUSE
FUCK THIS BIRD
I think it might be the guy sitting next to me. I've concluded he HAS to be smuggling insane amounts of onions in his wardrobe to smell like that
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
So I just accidentally joined a bar crawl and got a free shotski of Jameson. I love life.
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