Drunk wheelbarrow races might make the top 10 list of dumb shit weve done. Especially considering all the broken glass around...
My roommate is trying to suck beer out of the rug.
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
No, my body just knows its the weekend and wants to rage. Very different from alcoholism
Speaking is such a hard concept right now
can't blv i tried using a "backpack" as a unit of measurement...i drank a lot of beer last night
I took shots of absinthe with my mom just now. Except awful things.
They never prepare you for how broke ur gonna be in college. I just accepted money from two underage girls at a gas station to buy them beer only because I'm trying to figure out a way to run off with it without them noticing.
Dude, use it to buy them beer. Then run the beer to ur car as fast as you can and bring it to the party. Seriously, we're running out of booze over here
Well he walked in last night, yelled at me for not playing any music and started dancing.
The last time I went to Vegas and the sun started to rise, my copilot went home with her nipples pierced.
40s are totally the cure
They pay me enough to pretend to be either helpful, or heterosexual. If they want both I need one hell of a raise.
How bad was it?
Stopped drinking Sunday, hungover on Tuesday bad.
I AM OFFICIALLY LICENSED TO BE A LESBIAN
I prefer to think of hangovers as extreme sobriety, which can only be cured by more booze
Randomize
