We got so high we made milksteak
I have this strange craving to see a really fat person go down a slipnslide
...just for future reference, one Four Loko can fits PERFECTLY in a venti iced coffee cup from Starbucks
Its a good night to get drunk in my onesie.
Right, well, that begs the question of where did you get the whip, why are you using it, and why don't you carry one around more often?
Your text makes more sense read in reverse.
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
Dudes don't just lick butts of chicks they're not into.
I'm the only person who goes to break up a friends with benefits and comes out with a boyfriend
Holy shit, add "successfully got stoned secretly at a party where a cop was" to my list of accomplishments.
I'm like 89% sure I could get him to buy me a car in exchange for a half-assed handy.
I told him I wish we were at my house cause then I could tell him to get out after we had sex.
Do you think you could cook pancakes while i blow you?
He bent me in ways I couldn't imagine.. and im a gymnast.
Remember that time we were together? Yeah, I don't miss that.
Randomize
