i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
i just watched kanye west and taylor swift have a chugging contest. why cant halloween be every day
you are my new fav person for making him do the walk of shame in pink footie pajamas!
She broke up with him yesterday after she cheated on him. He's going a bachelor party next weekend. How has Homeland Security not raised the threat level?
He puked on the grill while the burgers were on. We had to go to taco bell
You pulled down your pants, pissed in the recliner, and wiped yourself with my utility bill. I thought it was in the worlds best interest to put you to bed.
Dude I walked 1.4 miles through the hotel wearing a cowboy hat, pink topped boots, gucci shades, and a scarf and met my parents in the hallway at 7 am how is this not a good start to Vegas?
Im quite confident that my struggle with sobriety ended last night sometime after dinner
you grabbed the breathalyzer at dinner, blew a 0.20 and told the waitress you'd eat her ass
His wedding band got caught on my nipple ring and that's how I realized he was married
just made a presentation to 40 students and my professor about morals and ethical issues..still drunk. at 8am. I wish I could remember how it went.
Omg. I checked my purse this morning and I'm pretty sure drunk me stole a frat guys tube of crest 3d white toothpaste. Like that's pretty fucked up but I think if I knew someone did that to me I'd probably still invite them over again cuz I'd be like, "this girl's creative, and has good hygiene."
I'm still very high. To be blunt. No pun intended.
I'm a freaking penguin. one mate for life, and really awkward at parties
I was peer pressured into smoking weed by a bunch of LGBTQ teenagers
Randomize
