Come on... In this relationship-economy, you gotta have "awesome blowjobs" on your resume.
positive spin of the day: since my nose is blocked from allergies cleaning the puke this morning was much easier
He bought me a pink rose and a Plan B. I really like this guy.
well we could tame deer to let us ride on them. does that work?
Totally just sport flirted the shit out of a girl on a wheelchair. I've done my good deed for the day.
I woke up naked in this guys bed and the first thing I start saying is it's super bowl Sunday like I was yelling
It was the highest I'd ever been. I felt like a blob. A blob eating a burrito.
Oh I'm sorry does your girlfriend send you better pictures of things in her ass? No? Didn't think so. Remember that the next time you wanna complain how I don't make the first move enough.
It's my birthday, if I want to stay home, get stoned and watch the gameshow network, that's what I'm going to do.
Just bought plan b at 8am. Then the cashier asked if I wanted to donate to the children's miracle network. Fml
My fuck buddy and I talked about Amelia Bedilia for ten minutes before having sex. I think I'm in love.
Date with Air Force guy was nice btw. And for my next trick I'll talk him into fucking me in his fighter jet at 30,000 ft.
I need to go home for the safety of everyone in a 10 mile radius, especially me
Looks like taco salad for lunch. I may have died and gone to be better circle in hell than I thought.
This is what I get for listening to Christians.
Randomize
