Unless you watched your mom's very literal rendition of "I touch myself" while she was wearing a bikini, your vacation wasn't as bad as mine.
I don't even remember his name...i'm just gonna save it as birthday sex
We need to rekindle our bromance
About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
i'm pretty sure i just ruined some dude's romantic riverside sunset proposal by running outside and puking in a bush.
know what the best part about malls are? standing on the upper level and boob gazing
If you try to operate on me with a Bic pen and vodka, I'm never talking to you again
Not sure why I sent you a picture of a black bear last night but it seemed like a good idea at the time.
the whole story woulnd't be so depressing if i had made out with ANYONE but the piano player.
I am as serious as getting herpes in Mexico...
What do herpes have to do with anything?
By getting lucky do you mean I get one of your incredible BJs or you not killing me by the end of dinner?
the worst part was waking up this morning to his skrillex ringtone.....when was it ever okay for friends to let other friends go home WITH GUYS LIKE THAT!?
Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
Text me if something catches fire and I will put pants on
Randomize
