I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
I texted him to clear the air a bit, apologized if I freaked him out. No reply. So I'm gonna go ahead and fuck someone in a barn tonight.
guess who just trotted in eating her oats and wagging her penis
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
DUDE EDDIE MURPHY JUST DID A BODY SHOT OFF A HOOKER. IM NEVER COMING HOME
I heard him crying and I heard him listening to porn... I'm hoping to God they weren't at the same time.
OMG HIS EYES ARE POOLS OF SEX. HOT SEX.
Then me, her, and her mom snorted tequila. The bartender was in shock.
Fell twice in five points. on my face. literally during a cross walk. The cars just went around me. 21st birthday memories right there
I'm pleased to know that your mom refers to me as "the ass piliager" now
It was all going fine until I had to chug that strawberita bud light. That really ended badly.
Just read 119 best sex positions. I wanna try 107 of them. Can I put you down for 50?
And my coffee table looks like something out of Scarface
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
You're emotionally mature, right? I said you were.
I have at least four things in my line of sight that have Kermit the Frog on them in my dorm. Does that answer your question?
Randomize
