Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
I think I'm going to go home and read The Bible.
So I just did the walk of shame at dunkin... A lady told me me I was really dressed up and I told her I was going to a luncheon.
I just saw fred flintstone in my fruity pebbles!
what drugs are you on?
none, cept for the pain medication i got prescribed by the doc: it said 2 pills every 3 hours, but I took 6 cuz i'll be away from home later
As we walked into his room, he said welcome to the hurt locker. I should have left, but I love that movie.
My girlfriend and my fuck buddy both started their periods this weekend. The good news is, neither of them are pregnant. The bad news is, I'll have to find someone else to fuck til next weekend. No wait.....that's good news too.
...She was shooting whiskey using a turkey baster...i was horrified.
How many times do I have to drunk reject you for our friendship to become awkward? Cause were at 9 as of last night
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
I gave the bathroom attendant $5 last night for turning the sink on for me. What. The. Fuck.
I JUST MADE OUT WITH A BRITISH SOCCER PLAYER. LONG LIVE THE QUEEN. GOD BLESS THAT COUNTRY.
BTW he text me to text him later after the concert to hang out. Im prepping my bed but I should know I shouldn't count my dicks before they hatch
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
I honestly have no desire to wear clothes around you
I have that affect on people
I think I broke my dick but 10/10 would definitely do it again.
Randomize
