Standing in line for a prescreening of Alice in Wonderland - guy just passed out cold in front of us - first drug overdose of the Alice in Wonderland phenomenon witnessed.
You were wasted and fell in a pond when you met him, it's not like you were on top of your game
Maybe it's cuz you slapped him with a pancake last night
If you're not on crutches for breakfast, I'll feel like I've failed you.
The sun is gonna brush it's hairy dick across my forehead in the morning, gently whispering: "you're 4 hours late for work"
After the 3rd shot, she was running around singing, "Twinkle Twinkle Big Ol' Dick, on your happy place I'll sit" to your brother.
Put that bitch's torch out. She's been voted off.
...and as she's going down on me I look at the speedo and I'm doing 15 under, with 6 cars tailgating me, and I know her parents saw her head pop up because they were the car right behind us.
I ran into cvs barefoot with my belt undone and shirt buttoned wrong and didn't even have to ask. The guy working pointed and said "they're back there."
That's how I look going for the pbr.
What happened after I vommed in your shirt that I was wearing and threw it out the window on the highway?
Pregnancy test = positive. Hope you still have our old guess who game 'cause daddy elimination begins now.
I wish I were single again so I could actually have sex.
This town is a penis wasteland. I haven't seen a suitable penis in months. This is becoming an emergency situation. I need penis in my life
so we just got back from swapping peoples patio furniture around to different patios. some people might like unexpected change. others might regret living on the ground floor.
Point in my hangover when I'm honestly not sure if I'm about to puke, or shit my pants.
No, he came home, unscrewed all of the lightbulbs, and threw them in the sink.
Randomize
