I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
I'm 99.9% sure the people upstairs are using walki-talkies to talk to each other across the room. Too high for this shit
We started pregaming at 8. It's 11, and her only 11:11 wish is to be sober. It's hard to not love her.
either i huffed spraypaint or ate out that makeup artist. you decide.
I did however clean up the cupcakes and vomit so I'm not that bad of a roommate
He didn't get how "starting a flash flood in my thunderhole" was a sexy euphemism. Deal breaker.
I just woke up hand cuffed to the bar and shirtless, so yeah I think I need you to come get me.
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
I may have been bent over an elementary school lunch table a few weeks ago. Don't judge.
He couldn’t find my clit with a map. Literally. I drew him a map.
Jesus better clutch that motherfucking wheel, then.
I'M NOT PUTTING MY TRUST IN JESUS! I'M PUTTING MY TRUST IN YOU!
She was blacked out at her own party. It felt good to stand next to her while she laid on the floor and say "vomit does not look good on you."
Randomize
