I think my hot accountant is wearing banana republic. I miss the days when that ='ed gay. Signals are so confusing now.
So, just so you know... Your vasectomy worked.
bonus
Just got a script for 120 vicodin with 6 refills. I feel like michael jackson.
I could make treat bags
There's a sign at Bashas for 30% off of 6 bottles of wine in Friday. That seems like a personal challenge.
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
Little boy scout stared at me with judgmental looks while I bought 3 bottles of liquor but refused to buy popcorn from him
He ran into the room yelling "attack! Attack!", jumped on top of me on the air mattress, popped the air mattress, and then we had victory sex, because he was proud of popping it.
IT'S LINGERIE PURCHASED FROM A FLEA MARKET, THE ONLY THING IT'S GOING TO BE POSITIVE FOR IS A TEST FOR HIV
Don't forget the part about the bar bathroom stumbles.
Oh damn, you're right. I have to include that. You turned off all the lights with your head. That was impressive.
I've finally given up enough on finals week to wear the same shirt three days in a row, because I didn't take my hoodie off for the first two.
You also spilled beer on my dog and tried to wipe it off with a paper towel but he kept getting away from you.
I've covered myself in body paint in the likeness of R2D2 and I still didn't get laid. Please explain.
He just got really stoned and kept complementing my ponytail
We got stoned and watched Disney movies all night. I think I'm in love.
The hump and dump is a beautiful thing
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