Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
i was like a deer caught in headlights with its coke-dick hanging out
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
if I want to go home with a foreign boy, please feel free to let me go, sober me gives you permission to let drunken me do it
Just walked into the bar to find a guy in a Boba Fett helmet leaning casually against the wall, texting. This night just got real.
If you were awake I would probably ride my bike over, fuck you like a god, leave you in the wonders of life, and bike home
Dude are you being arrested? I swear I just saw you laying on the hood of your car with a cop patting you down...
I woke up to my bra draped over his lamp and a huge bump on my head. apparently, I face planted while having sex in the shower..
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
Feel weird saying this on Facebook, but a dildo collecting demigod sounds like somebody I'd at least hang with for a minute.
And all i could do was bury the part of me that felt guilty for cradle robbing and put on my dick swallowing bib.
Okay I'm officially a Texan now, I banged a dude with cowboy boots
I think someone is dead in a car across the street
Scratch that, dude's getting a blow job
I just timed my pee with a stop watch. From when the main stream started to ended. It was 45.1 seconds. This is the truth trust me.
Dude whoeverrs house this is has only creeam cheese and beer in the fridge. Thats my kinda diet
Randomize
