A moment of silence for all our pussy whips bro's who had to endure the NEW MOON premier!
Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
This glow in the dark vibrator will get me through this power outage
The police scanner is talking about you again....
ps if your frozen peas taste like crotch it's because some dude kicked me in the nuts while trying to do a keg stand and I needed an ice pack
We should have a bouncer at the top of our stairs asking the guys we bring home for ID...
Hey mom, soo do we have a family lawyer or am I on my own for that?
I drank toilet water last night, I can't answer you because my phone is in rice.
Sooo Zach and Judd are on my porch drunk eating leaves and flowers...
He fucks like those drill things that you see when you think of texas
I just tripped over a but plug that was on the floor. It's 430 in the morning
I woke up on the floor with 2 cartons of cigarettes, a box of chocolate bars, and a business card for a man named Larry. Don't remember him, but if the Rols on his card is his, I might throw him a mouth party...
Would it defeat the purpose of a run if I ran to McDonalds?
I'm on a walk of shame carrying YOUR pants. You owe me.
Randomize
