i guess you could say your face is two degrees of separation from my balls
i knew she was high when she broke up the cookies into her glass of milk and ate it like cereal
I've been thinking about it and if we ever have a threesome it'll start off with us clothed solely in our matching fur vests
I just woke up to pictures of every angle of his dick I'll ever need to see.
side note. good thing you didn't come to drunk breakfast. we were judged by children.
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
I just ate a can of beans for dinner so I can afford to go get a 5$ bottle of wine. I really did not think these choices would still be necessary at age 25.
I LOVE YOU SO MUCH I'M ON A WILD DICK CHASE FOR YOU. How many lesbians do YOU know that would do that? HOW MANY????
Son of a bitch took my liquid eyeliner
Your drunk naked friend is roaming the living room. Started roaming my room. Please come retrieve him
I think I came out of my blackout as I was ordering wine from the private wedding reception.
We peed on a building I think...like a building in downtown...not out of view of anyone.
At least get laid and waffle fries out of it you whipped basterd
Scary. I hope people take me seriously. Maybe I should black out less to be sure
and then she asked if she could shave my junk
and howd that go?
can you pick me up from the hospital?
Randomize
