i am not above fucking your little sister on your bed
I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
I wonder sometimes what your vagina thinks about you.
I hit a bug from across the room with my flip flop boomerang style. That awesome.
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
Something's wrong. Everything's on fire. Unless it was like that before. Then everything's alright.
Third base with a 7ft basketball player last night. Fingers like a champ. I call him Edward Penishands.
You flew out of the bedroom, stole two Solo cups from the beer pong table, put them on your feet, clicked your heels together three times
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
What am I doing with my life
Sleeping with dudes who have peacocks apparently.
I am never taking a razor down there again. He'll have to love me as I am.
So, I'm about to take my pants off in the Walmart parking lot, when am old lady parks next to me. I'm all the way in the back next to the semis. What the hell?
Only you would consider your best friend fucking your boyfriend to be a sign of everlasting friendship
Florida is balancing how much this place sucks with how many vodkas you can have to cope in order to still be allowed on the plane to leave
Of fucking course I get my period on Valentine's Day...
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