did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
I basing my decision on whether or not to date someone on whether I could imagine having sex with them sober
I just beer bonged a sparks. You better get your ass over here because no one is on my level yet
She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
Just wandered into a surprise final. Only a surprise for me though. I wish I could say this is the first time this has happened.
We need to buy some popsicles so we can remind ourselves we're good at this.
disregard all texts ive sent you minus taco motherfucking bell
He was like a foghorn with a huge penis.
With any luck I will spend the duration of this flight with my tray table up my seatbelt securely fastened and my face in his lap
Granted I did fall into a pond wearing your dress, but I did save a frog in the process so I think it was worth it.
Dude, its flawless. what could go wrong?
Jail. That could go wrong.
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
Oh my god I would go to planned parenthood the same day I get my nipples pierced
Yeah probably not. I have a hair appt, a gun class, and hopefully a boy to fuck. I'm booked.
So apparently last night while I was drunk I read him erotic fanfiction while he was eating me out. He stopped every now and then to give me feedback.
Randomize
