OMG Im so trashed fishy! im sitting hereon my bed wif mcdonalds n i look like david hasselhoff!!!!!! kill me now
so that wasnt chicken after all
Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
I mean I knew we were putting on quite a show but I didnt realize HOW good until I woke up and 4 people were passed out with their ears to the bedroom door.
At this point I just want to meet a man with a job.
sorry for the naked aussie man in your room last night, he got lost on his way to the bathroom
I never appreciated sexting until I went to rehab
but im not going to tell the owner of the penis of my dreams how to wear his hair.
I think I'm the only sober person in the whole bar. If you count drinking less than 10 tequilas sober.
Find a vagina and bring it to me. Like feeding a tiger.
Really? A fat girl?
I'm walking her back. Chill out.
She is a nice girl okay. For some reason we are in my room though.
Woke up this morning naked, wrapped in a bath mat with a wad of singles on the table. I'm calling it a win.
It's called life, you pretentious bitch. Grow up.
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
Randomize
