like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
a commercial for my antidepressant came on and they said you shouldn't take if if you drink right as i took a shot
god is laughing at you again
Very nice. It looks like a Fisher-Price My First Dildo, but still very nice.
We are going to get clementines. And shoot them out of a ballon launcher. That's after we come up to the ivy with a bullhorn and reck havoc. Where are you.
I need like a hormone stopper. Or a chastity belt. Or like a lady business alarm that goes off when I'm being too drunk.
New low: just got woken up by my 9 year old cousin throwing an empty at me and telling me to get my life together.
We shot off some fireworks at 12 and then I orchestrated the group singing of god bless the USA all while wearing a don't tread on me flag as a cape. I repped hard.
i accidentally sent all my draft messages..how do i do damage control for the multiple "fuck me now" type msgs sent at ten am?
I would have been very attracted to her had she not been reading me my Miranda Rights
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
Okay. This morning the comforter was wet, you were underwearless and using a tiny blanket. What'd you do??
Random one night stand with a guy that had a USA tattoo on his ass. Can't possibly get more American than that
What kind of sociopath goes to sleep at 9pm when I clearly need attention
I just had a mini meltdown cause I thought they forgot to put the cheese packet in my mac and cheese. I'm having an awful week.
You're lucky I just like fucking you because you would really suck at being a boyfriend.
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