I'm gonna do things to you that will make the neighbors want to move.
I admire a woman who can maintain dignity while puking after too much whiskey
I spilled a beer on myself, so I went back to my place to change. The city marshall was at my door with a warrant. That beer cost me 760 bucks.
Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
maybe it wasnt such a good idea to pregame our lease signing...
I could end up kidnapped. Or worse, the night will be really awkward.
I have a plus one for the Blackout Express, should I pen in your name?
Trying to take a shit right now to the beat of the fuckin drumcircle outside... It's not goin well
I'm bringing Sergeant Single Slut out this weekend. I hope you're ready for her.
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
COME HERE AND I WILL SUCK YOUR COCK UNDER THE LIGHT OF THIS BEAUTIFUL ELECTRICITY
It's my birthday, if I want to stay home, get stoned and watch the gameshow network, that's what I'm going to do.
I need a job that does not involve working with people who wear animal costumes when they get fucked.
We turned his nipples into a drinking game.
Randomize
