I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
Hooked up with my first aid and cpr teacher last night. She dressed as a lifeguard and brought me back to life. Beat that.
Just got off the phone with poison control. They're more concerned about our alcohol intake than that the beer bong was last cleaned with pine sol.
Whoever invented the gimlet should be given a medal and then shot
her wearing orange crocs at the bar was definitely a great form of contraception
His water bottle is sitting on my coffee table like a monolith dedicated to the things he is not doing to my vagina.
How are you getting in?
I know some influential drag queens
I need a nap, Harry Potter movies, and dick in this exact order after work.
Damn Instagram explore page. I am six months in to some girl I don't even know.
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
They are like the regular squirrels and we are flying squirrels
Fucking hate kids. In particular I hate our kids.
Randomize
