You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
why is there a sandwich nailed to the wall
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
Hold on, I gotta pump breast milk for the white russians.
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
Lazier than spoon feeding yourself popcorn and debating adult diapers so you don't have to leave the mentalist marathon on tv?
At this point the smell of shame has become my natural musk
She's calming us down by shoving oreos in our mouths
This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up
I think it was clear she was setting us up when she brought me over to you and said "Present!"
Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it
Send me a pic of your kids to remind me why I have morals.
Driving home this morning in my minion costume makes me rethink the 0 tint on my windows.
These guys are just fucking with my heart instead of fucking me. They're fucking up.
I just want a man in my bed on a regular basis, who cuddles, and who I can also occasionally hang out with outside of my bedroom. Is that too much to ask for?
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