Dude you didn't move for like 2 hours then suddenly sang the chorus to ghetto superstar and passed back out
she wouldn't stop crying, so we sang her to sleep. i'm guessing you will find her in the same position by the toilet in the morning. night.
was it you or me who tried to make the, what appears to be, nacho cake in the oven?
Don't let the fact that shes seen my penis discourage you
Def regretting not writing "will blow for extra credit" on my last final
It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
Lots of alcohol last night skiing this morning = me throwing up off chairlift
Oh god our sink is a cavalcade of horrors. Brb sacrificing a goat and putting everything in the dishwasher forever
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
I am trying to take a picture of a man in a wheelchair trying to ship a michael jackson portrait
She deserves a chance to suck my penis. This is America. Its her God given right.
You were wearing a cookie monster onesie and telling everyone you were actually the sausage monster..
On the bright side I still got laid
"Masturbate" is an actual item on an actual ToDo list of mine. It is at the top.
I need a nap, Harry Potter movies, and dick in this exact order after work.
Randomize
