super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
so i replaced his speed with my ped egg shaveings
dont u have athletes foot?
New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
I told her Billy Mays couldn't convince me to sleep with her
I've decided that my new worst fear is that I'll end up on "I Didn't Know I was Pregnant"
You told me I was special while we were having sex and I asked why.
What did I say?
Don't ask me questions while I have an erection,
I'm on strict orders from her to keep sleeping with you until you give her a job next summer.
I won't go into too much detail about this but you should probably wash your sheets. In bleach. Or just burn them. Thanks for letting me sleep in your bed bro. Enjoy scotland.
You could probably play six degrees of separation of my cock in this city.
Seriously, she had fingers that made me thank a god I don't even believe in that I'm gay.
I need vitamin water and Jesus :/
all his sexual metaphors involve condiments, should I worry?
Hungover at Subway, watching a business guy try to squeeze his way past my car to get into his. Bitch shouldn'ta parked over the line.
You truly are a temple of morality.
I am the night, I am justice, I am currently watching the fat biz guy pay a frat boy to back his car up for him so he can get in.
All three of the bartenders here have screwed my boss, so he's definitely gay. Unfortunately for you he seems to have a type and you're not it.
They tried to get you to drink water and all you kept shouting was, "NO MORE LIQUIDS OF *ANY* KIND."
Randomize
