What time are you coming? Can you stop and get mouse traps and trojans?
You have mice?
no why?
There was a gorilla playing an accordion outside of my last final. I miss college already.
he was drinking cheap vodka with warm tap water and a packet of crystal light. if that's not an alcoholic then idk what is
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
And when we woke up we made beer pancakes. Great start to a family picture day.
just had to explain to the health center why i wanted 50 condoms a month.
Hey, you guys have all had chicken pox, right?
Well, I've taken the art of car peeing to new heights
I just told him I want him to "take the reins". At least its festive sexting?
Her one night stand followed us to mass. This is too funny for real life.
I danced with this guy last night, I left like I was humped by a blind baby kangaroo trying to body-box.
Han Solo would be ashamed of me.
Where are you? Your parents are here. Their flight got in early.
Trashy Tequila Tuesdays. Have them meet me here @ the bar.
I'm not sending your parents to see you drunk at a gay bar. What kind of boyfriend do you think I am?
A great one. Entertain them i'll be home soon....... I think
I was using my Beauty and the Beast blanket as a makeshift skirt because no pants
I'm gonna fight the coyote
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