is it odd that your cat looks tougher than you?
last night i used 411 to try and contact britney spears.
dollar well spent
I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
the best part about watching a meteor shower at 4 am is being able to masturbate in public and drink hot chocolate at the same time.
i just found my sim card.....i hid it in my tylenol bottle....i guess to ensure i would find it mid-hangover
the nurse was shocked when I handed her a cup of green piss. what did she expect giving me a drug test on st. patty's day?
no guy is ever going to take you seriously as a potential marriage prospect unless you learn to swallow
You don't forget tits like those, even if you are vegas drunk.
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
Thanks to you and Ketel One I now have a court summons with the actual word "frolicking" on it.
There is nothing worse then the feeling after you've held in farts all night..
What's his name?
One day i'll wow you with artfully trimmed pubes.
when part of the plan includes getting high, i usually forget how the rest of the plan goes.
I just puked into a clean basket of laundry.
Why would you ask him if you could lick his chest?
He has a very lickable chest
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