Dual....:-)
I had a dream that chipotle was out of burritos... Was more like a nightmare.. Gotta go make sure it wasn't real now
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
you sat up and said "i'm the worst kind of roommate, the drunk kind"
thinking back, the fact that our bartender was missing a finger shouldve been hint number one not to let him pick our drinks
I don't remember you taking the condom off last night. Did you just walk home in it ?
dont call me baby and dont touch my ears. ITS ALL I ASK
I like that you're Jewish, because you can rail me on Christmas Eve and it won't be weird.
Omg, those nutella cakes are heavenly, like licking the nipples of a muscular black Jesus.
he was making out with her against the stove and started a fire--the thirst literally almost burned the place down!!
I know you like got hit by a car but do you want to come to my birthday pardi
well my apartment and my life are still a disaster but I did clean off my desk so that's gotta count for something...
The drive thru lady at McDonald's asked how I was and I responded by opening the car door and throwing up all over the drive thru lane. Happy Sunday.
I'M HANGING OUT WITH THE DRUG DEALER UPSTAIRS JUST SO I CAN STEAL HIS WIFI PASSWORD, I HOPE Y'ALL LOVE ME.
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
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