I want to come over to your house, give you money for liquor, fuck you, and then kick it untill I have to go home. Was that blatent enough for you?
The only reason you're wearing underwear tonight is cause you have a family dinner before
She came to work with 6 additional layers of make-up, playing every Nickelback song about explicit teen sex, and with a dozen twinkies she bet she could finish without chewing any. I'm investing in a rape whistle.
Do you know a sam ****, im at the bar right now and lookin for some dirt on her to guilt trip her in to sex
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
I just found our entire wall-to-wall from September 2006 printed out and clipped... it's 49 pages. Blackout me is so considerate of bored-at-work me
She had forties taped to her hands and was trying to give him a hand job while he was passed out, with everyone in the living room.
I feel like I just lived out a children's book called "The Day I Went to Law School Stoned"
You missed me roundhouse kicking a lit glow stick out of a guy's mouth last night. You would have been proud.
I reek of latex and grilled onions.
Mission accomplished.
I just used a VHS tape as a plate for sanwich
I'm told I threw my cigarettes at the TV one by one Shouting about the cast of Community.
Easter was a success. We had an egg hunt and hid weed and conforms inside them. Cooked a ham, made some jello, got wasted. THIS is adulthood?!
He sent me nudes and I told him he reminded me of Buffalo Bill.
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
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