this is a mass text to all the people i smoke weed with. I have Mono, so if we've shared a bong/pipe. sorry man.
I went back up to the apartment to get her phone and when I came back she was peeing on the sidewalk
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
Walked in on my boss having phone sex at work... and somehow this didnt bother nor embaress him
im drunk. people are steering their children away from me. whatever it is that you called for, I assure you that I don't care. have a good night
Oh, and trying to figure out who wants to do Molly in a frat is like asking damn children if they want puppies and candy. So just bring as much as possible.
Also, that dude projectile vomiting all over the living room was the perfect distraction for me to swipe the booze and run.
Bitch looked at my dick and said "I thought they called you horsecock, I'm already disappointed"
I told you that line would get her home never said it was a good idea
Mom chose Thanksgiving to tell me the reason I am here is because she was too tired to give my dad a BJ and too drunk to make him pull out.
I just picked up my phone and one shoe from the man mowing the lawn next to the ice rink. He found them in a tree.
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
she definitely didn't appreciate it when you justified bringing her home by yelling to me "fat bitches need love too"
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
Pulling on my sock literally just took me 5 minutes.. The hangover is real
Having sex with him is like eating mayo. Don't think about it, just do it. It's worth it.
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