Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
Con: they had to cauterize my wound twice. Pro: The docs agreed I'll be able to get really drunk tonight since I've lost so much blood.
sound pretty economical
he asked me to marry him on one of those scrolling message belt buckels.... what now?
So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
I just realized that "Hey girl, when you gonna let me tap that?" is in iambic pentameter. I'm going to write a poem...
She transformed our coors light pitcher we stole from the bar into a fruit basket...
Do what your heart wants. . .
My heart wants to rip his balls off and tie therm to his head using his penis
I swear to god, if you fuck the hot one you're paying me back for the shot I just bought her
think of it as grooming, as if he is my Kate Middleton and I'm grooming him to be a presentable princess
I sat on my couch last night watching What Women Want, eating ice cream, and sobbing "why doesn't she like me?" Why was I born a man?
I'm gonna take a nap by the fireplace and pretend like I know what day it is.
Yes but I said "let's get a dog" not a drunk human so some rules will be established this evening
Thanks a lot dude. I'm grateful to you for your gift of pure piss.
I was giving him head and he slipped one of those hats with propellors on top on my head.
Randomize
