i just got a UPS package from a name and address i dont know, with one of my thongs in it. no recollection.
I want to poop on a bird, just to show them what it's like.
remember when jerking off was fun and not a neccesity
the 3rd commandment: and god said, if you buy a handle.. you must finish it.
Nothing says fuck you quite like putting your used condom in someones mailbox for them to find in the morning.
Just saw the new iPhone. I would totally let Steve Jobs and Jon Ive eiffel tower me right now.
I just peed next to my dog in the yard. Unparalleled forms of bonding going on over here.
The only thing that was weird was that it WASN'T weird when she got out of the shower and saw me blowing him.
im actually trying to see how many sex dolls we need for our raft so we can stay buoyant while we attack kayakers
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
He left his boxers here. Can I keep them and make a shrine or would that be creepy?
I have bruises from doing the splits on the poles, if that doesn't scream bourbon street regret then I don't know what does
I don't remember how I broke my nose last night, but I woke up with dried blood everywhere. Also, you should tell that guy how you feel.
I just walked through the door and she ran up to me, hugged me, unzipped my pants and immediately started sucking my dick. Good day.
Just used a NyQuil cup to take a shot. This night is headed nowhere good.
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