so the chest pain/shortness of breath/overdose guy we just took to tm hospital is now running down market street from the police in a gown holding his iv.
i gave him head before the novacaine wore off...i think his penis touched my lung
just took my exes job. there should be an award for how many times I've managed to fuck that girl's life
If i ever start ordering tequila again please tackle me to the ground and steal my wallet
I went on my dinner date pretending that my lunch date didn't jizz in my hair.
Passing out on a toilet is not classy no matter what you're wearing. Not even a pea coat.
Moral of the story: don't have drunken shower sex with the lights off...or you WILL break your foot. And the shower knobs.
That bar is one yeast infection away from total annihilation.
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
I literally can not watch Thor without thinking of your dick
I just watched videos of people getting puppies and crying, I cried too. Definitely still drunk
His dick is the size of my forearm. Would it be rude to ask to take a comparison photo after sex?
I opened the bathroom door and the starting point gaurd was eating out my art history professor
I got eaten out in the igloo at snow-kings castle last night.My thighs were literally melting ruts in the ice bench.Definitely colder than the minus 40 blowjob at Desiree's wedding
Randomize
