You realize if you die tommorow, the last memory i'll ever have of you is your ballsack on skype
my iphone just auto-corrected drink to drnknghhhg...
Katie is reenacting me jizzing in her eye via emoticons...
margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
did you really just refer to me me as an old fashioned penis?
I remember your 21st ending with me driving you home while you insisted making bicycle signals out the car window.
a guy just walked up to us....drank the rest of my beer....and said sorry for my loss before walking away.
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
So never has there been a greater Valentine's Day gift than you actually putting a new roll of toilet paper on for me after using the old roll up! You didn't even use the new roll. You clearly put that on from a gentleman's standpoint vs. a selfish standpoint. I love you!!!!
He's doing his thing where I don't know if he's alive until three in the afternoon so idk
I mean, you have to swipe right on someone you had sex with last week though, right?
I just wanna have sex and go to Denny's after is that too much to ask for.
That's it. I'm moving to LA & sitting on his face.
Sitting in the dr office she literally looked at my throat and goes have you been having oral intercourse
Tonights mission: get trashed, smoke a bowl on top of the silo, get some dick. Not necessarily in that order.
Randomize
