I'm home alone watching The Hills seasons, eating pickles and drinking straight rye. I just googled "how to make friends". Probably not the most pro-active solution. Help.
we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
My bosses just told me they met their wives on one night stands. I'm stoked.
Im debating on how to word my craigslist post so i dont get arrested...
plus shes a stripper, ive been with strippers, if you fuck this up your penis will never forgive you
Some chick is drunk waving down a taxi with a slice of pizza.
LSD in a sugar cube. Dropped it in my whiskey sour and felt like I was rowing a boat.
I'd like to bring you 40 virgins and treasure chests of gold to make you feel better
We can't be fuck buddies. You stare into my eyes while we fuck.
Hon, I found you crying into a bathrobe in the back of a closet with a broken shoerack.
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
We took vodka shots. You kept saying it was the key to your heart.
Guess who just hooked up with a guy who was wearing a shirt from his mom's "dress up closet"?!
I'm on the fast track to lesbian land
Do you have feelings for this penis?
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