So the bouncer told me I could leave the easy way or the hard way. I told him I was going to make him earn his 10 bucks that hour.
Apparently you chose the latter.
apparently it's okay for him to stick his dick in my mouth but not to let me have a can of diet pepsi for the road.
How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
i'm pretty sure i just ruined some dude's romantic riverside sunset proposal by running outside and puking in a bush.
Omg!!!! Call me in the morning I just saw A stripper queef out a dollar
there is laundry and salad ALL OVER my car, i need context
let's just pour the lemonade mix into the soco. cut out the middle man.
What do I wear to meet his family/put his dog to sleep? Is there even an appropriate outfit for this occasion?
Nahh. Maybe not even a handful. It's more like a heaping teaspoon worth of dick.
Well would you like to come over anyway? I will be wearing sweatpants and disappointment. Also, I have Jack Daniels and I've managed to get drunk in under half an hour. But my boobs look awesome.
She forgot a bra so she just used seran wrap. The scary thing is, it worked.
I needed to pee, so I climbed out his window
I just brought her a lipstick taser. So just remember that the next time you get smart with her
I would but he’s not speaking to me because I put ketchup in his socks.
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
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