She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
I gave them both handjobs at the same time. Felt like I was skiing
Did i mention i'm like the equivilent of a prepubescent boy suffering from preejaculacy? I just about creamed my pants when he grabbed my hand..
Until they make a bed that bathes you in your sleep, I will not be satisfied.
There are two women in my bed. I'm gonna have a bowl of noodles so I can better understand my success.
He walked into the bar, took a deep sniff and said "this place is fertile and ready for my seed" then calmly walked to the service area
He was Jesus for Halloween and I definitely got on my knees and gave him praise.
She was dressed as a banana and told me that I needed more potassium in my diet. Of course I went down on her.
We should buy t shirt guns and blow eggs out of them at his house. Bachelorette party
Why is there cereal literally EVERYWHERE?
It didn't follow directions.
A cop may or may not have seen my bare ass against the moonlight within the past hour
We have such a parasitic relationship. But the kind where the parasite benefits from the relationship. Like the pilot fish and a shark. The fish gets the leftover food scraps from the shark and the shark gets a free bath from it.
that's so insightful.
I hate being the first one to text him all the time...I feel like Iook desperate to get laid when the reality is that im just really horny and he has a/c...
I teamed up with my vagina. I compromised his morals and then she corrupted him for good. It’s been a very successful and slutty partnership
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