when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
Sweet. Might not hurt to poop on the floor anyway.
What's the name of that girl you hooked up with? The one that looks like the fire hose sign.
too bad being hungover isnt a job. just threw up from 9am to 5pm
I just showed my tits to my brother on chatroulette. Could my life get any worse?
I wouldn't accept the money so he folded the $20 bill into an origami puppy and left a note saying "Not blowjob money"
We need to stop sleeping with people based on which NFL team they like.
We need to reprogram your vagina to say "no"
When a chinchilla decides to sit on your face while you're getting head from its owner, you bond.
he pulled a $400 bottle of champagne out of the back part of his toiled and I was ready to blow him then and there
Don't look him in the eyes, it like looking at the sun but instead of burning your retinas it makes you wet and vulnerable
Serious question...Is it possible to get a DUI on a kayak?
I still don't understand if he's using me to write his resume or if we're dating
Don’t say some truly stupid shit like that to me. In a kitchen. Where the knives are kept
Sitting on couch, workout sex makes me more sore than regular workout
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