You sucked the drug dealers dick for a 20 of coke...?
Nooo, I payed for that. I sucked his dick because I had an urge.
She's the hottest girl I've ever seen before and didn't lose her virginity until she was 19. As men, I take it as failure on our part that hot 19 year old virgins still exist.
I just spewed blue gatorade in the shower. It looked like the ocean.
says the girl that drank her shots like they were in a dog bowl
Repeat the weekend mantra. "I like boys with teeth, I need boys with teeth, I deserve boys with teeth, I will have boys with teeth".
So how much of last night are we going to pretend never happened? Enough to stay friends?
Fake an illness. Her and her friends are like the female version of guys who wear tapout shirts
Every grown women needs to pee herself once in her life. It builds character.
I'm laying here half naked telling him I'm eating gold fish to change the subject of hookin up cuz I don't wanna put pants on
I'm sorry but if you can't drink a bottle of wine without a glass, I do not think we can be friends.
I want to go to a gay rodeo for my cross country road trip. It'll be like my very own homo country boy pilgrimage to the holy land.
It was technically 11... But I go by McDonald's time, if they aren't servin breakfast, it's the afternoon. Therefore I can drink
I wasn't going to just ask my parents for a damn vibrator for christmas
Can you bring me some underwear? I feel uncomfortable going underwear less at a Remembrance Day ceremony.
I miss seeing you
i hope for the sake of your safety you were not with your girlfriend while sending texts like that at 3 am
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