I just don't understand how my upright asian catholic roommate is getting more than me.
Abreva sucks. I applied it as directed and now it looks like I fed the herpes. They're throwing a party on my bottom lip.
Just promise me you won't ring in the new decade by clutching onto a toilet
Dude just bought condoms some sad fuck next to me buying a pregnancy test he gave me a look like he'd pay me millions to switch places
I just asked the dr if it was herpes while wearing my shirt from the strip club...
I told you to stay away from the strippers in Oklahoma
Oh my god. I'm sorry if i peed on you last nite. I am truly disgusting
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
oh dear god, that would be like watching to female walruses mate. We need to stop going to that lesbian bar...
You're 34. You can't make guys wait till the third date anymore. Step it up!
I don't know what the bubonic plague feels like- but I'm gonna guess its something like this.
so you 69ed him in the parking lot of your apartment
yah I won't allow him in my apartment
I walked so much yesterday and I was like holy fuck I need to do some cardio apart from sex cause this is ridic
Yeah,I'm just gonna keep fucking other guys til this idiot figures out he loves me.
the guy in front of me in walmart is buying a blowtorch, potato chips, and condoms. I'm curious and horrified at the same time.
i woke up wearing a life jacket, holding on to a footlong hotdog, and had on a mr. hustle 1995 shirt on
good night
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