He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
You know the guy who poops at a party and then leaves and you go in, do your business, and come out and there are girls outside that think you pooped and no one talks to you? I'm the guy who poops before you go in, because I'm in a relationship and I hate you.
Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
I was so high I couldn't tell if they were goosebumps or herpes.
I just got my poem back from the prof, there's a sticker of a girraffe on it and it says "you're awesome!" ... How can this even be considered real college?!?
Hey do you have anything at your house 30 ft. tall to throw eggs off of?
I lost it last night. That was humiliating. Cincinnati is now covered in my puke.
I think my hand is broken. But his nose definitely is
"I'm in the bathroom. Only place I can sit and relax without that girl trying to give me a lap dance."
Just went to my first strip club and they had Fox News on. Conservative booty time.
Just witnessed some guy throw his fake eye at his dad's face. Actually, he whipped it at him.
after stripping the bed and soaking it with the "pet spot remover" I have, I decided in the best interest of my mattress and our drunk friends bladders, i should invest in rubber sheets.
Calm down I'm not kidnapping the bartender
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
I just puked on the sidewalk. At 11am. Thought you'd like to know.
Just found out I lit my hair on fire last night.
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