I just sneezed everywhere.....everywhere. Now no one will talk to me.
hey my socially awkward cousin is our designated driver for summer, we just have to put up with her wierd shit.
And then she started grabbing onto random guys legs, asking their names, and if they wanted to be friends... Haha, I love when the girls my ex's are dating are total drunken whores.
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
Just had to throw up on the floor of my car during traffic on the way to work. Car next to me saw both times. Found the downside to having a job right after graduation.
I've made friends with the guy dressed as a gorilla that was chasing the guy dressed as a banana around with a super soaker full of vodka. I feel this will be a good relationship for me.
Who knew that "When in doubt, pelvic thrust" would end up being the best motto ever? In other news, I think I may have joined roller derby.
it was good, but also weird. like, i came four times and then cried weird.
I'll have to text you later. Trying to have civilized conversations with the boyfriends parents when I'm 100% aware I just blew their son in the bathroom 5 mins ago. Stay tuned.
Its 11am and I'm eating gummi bears and drinking Tennessee honey in my underwear...this is why I'm self employed
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
Dude, the worst part is I can't even pretend it didn't happen because she posted a video of it on Facebook.
Instead of.being an intelligent and mature adult and dealing with my feelings I chose to get hammered and fuck flounder
Eh it happens
Randomize
